Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Mystery Science Murder 2088 (Working Title becuase it's shit) - Chapter 1



Mystery Science Murder 2088

Chapter 1

My Telitech had flashed to life making the annoying buzz that a cheap cell phone would make. The light emanating from my device had cut through the otherwise enchanting darkness. Who in the world is trying to reach me at four in the morning? I clicked the button on my temple and the message popped onto the screen.
"Get to the office." The message was sent by Claire.
Claire was the relatively uptight forensic analyst at the MegaPlex East Side precinct. She had been at the office for about a month now. Best in the business they told me. Being a Detective, such as I, meant that her job and mine were relatively intertwined. She was an interesting person but I didn't even like mother enough to see her at two in the morning. I extended my arm over to my nightstand and blindly rummaged the surface, knocking over a case of cheap cigars I picked up at the shop under my apartment and a bottle of now room temperature beer. Finally I grabbed the keypad I had been searching for and sent Claire a simple message.
"Why?" Hopefully she would understand the severity of my situation, the ridiculousness of her wanting me to get up from my soft bed and go to work at two in the morning was truly the definition of a national calamity. A message quickly darted onto my screen.
"I'll explain when you get here." And I assumed that would be the last message I would get from her until I got there.
I rolled unapologetically slowly out of the warm comfort of my bed and slipped on some black jeans, a white long sleeved shirt, and my black jacket. My view in the mirror was a very middling sight my black slicked back hair looked especially greasy and my beard was slightly longer than I had liked but I was still presentable. I grabbed my odd assortment of keycards, my wallet that had been passed down from my dad to me, the badge I had worn every day of my life except for Sundays, and my gun. I slid the cold, metallic revolved slug cannon into the holster on my hip and set off.
The MegaPlex is disgusting, a city of scum and villainy. The cold air rushed to meet my face, as did the smell of bourbon, sweat, and industrialization. The 'Plex is a sprawling mega city that encapsulated all of New York to Chicago and reaching downwards to about Tennessee, I wouldn't actually know though. The closest I’ve ever been to the capital was maybe a little outside of New Jersey, you really have to be something if you want to get into York. Wealth is so unevenly distributed throughout the ‘Plex, neighborhoods full of disgusting low-life’s only looking out for themselves next to slums and ghettos. I've had opportunity's to live closer to York but something about Chicago just keeps me clinging. My restlessness has always been a trouble maker and my thirst for adventure is always unquenched leaving behind the bitter taste of dried saliva and not so dry blood. The main reason for me joining the force in the first place was my nature to hunt down adventure, and what’s a better place than the precinct on one of the most dangerous cities in the ‘Plex.
I walked into a tiny coffee shop less than two minutes from the office; also it happened to be the only coffee shop open within a ten mile radius. I swung the door open and greeted the man behind the counter with a smile; he just stared blankly in my general direction.
“Morning!” I almost screamed it out giving the kid behind the counter a jolt of somewhat needed energy.
“Little early for coffee isn’t it?” The kid said which kind of took me a back because I thought I was here for a cup of coffee not health lessons.
“Never too early for coffee, you’ll learn that soon enough.”
“What can I get you?”
“Two coffees, black,” I reached into my jacket pocket to grab a cigar, just my luck. “And a box of cigars.” The kid scurried off to make the coffees; I just stood by the counter watching the outside through the windows. Nothing caught my attention the sewer grates still steamed, no cars were on the road, and just a few gang bangers wandered the streets looking for prey. The streets were filthy. The coffee shop looked run down with wood covering up holes in the window, cracks in the floor, and all types of creatures poking their heads through.
“That’ll be 12 munyan.” The kid said to me. Quickly, I turned around from the window and gave the kid the munyan. I opened the cigars and stuck one in my mouth and lit it, letting out a puff of toxin that was very reminiscent to the air I breathed in every day. I grabbed the coffee, bid farewell, and exited the fine establishment. I continued walking down the street, examining the surrounding area, and adding puffs of toxin to the atmosphere. The streets were desolate; the lights for many shops were off with the ‘Sorry, we’re closed sign’ outside of them. I walked for another five minutes until a noise had caught my attention, grunts. The alleyway across the street revealed the social situation in the ‘Plex. Three guys of about average height towered over a defenseless kid. They wailed on the kid for less than ten seconds before I showed up behind them. I placed the two cups of cups of coffee on the floor. One of the guys turned around to look at me.
“What do you want?” The man was probably in his late twenties, average build, charcoal colored hair, and enough scotch in his system to turn a man blind. I assumed his friends were no different.
“You are actively committing a major felony under charges of assault. Other charges may be issued at the station. Put your hands in the air.” I spoke out the standard protocol for an arrest but the man did not seem interested. His body bobbed gently due to his inability to stand straight. When I finished he spat to the ground and tapped his two other friends on the shoulder.
“This boy is trying to arrest us,” they laughed obnoxiously loud to one another. “I think we got to teach this boy a lesson.” His speech was slurred, hiccupping every third or so word.
My cigar was getting a little short; I would need a new one soon. I took a long blow and flicked it to the side. I clicked a button on the side of my Telitech to alert the closest officer. The first man who I had the wonderfully pleasant conversation with rushed towards me with arms out. Unluckily for him, his entire position was radically off, due both equally to his intense drunkenness and his inability to fight. He swung a left hook towards my face, he was too slow. I grabbed the hook with my right and down swung with my elbow for a satisfying crunch and then immediately followed it up with a strong left. I felt his nose break as my fist jabbed into his face; he flew backwards and collapsed to the ground. One. His two friends flanked my left and right. The man on my right came in for a punch but I quickly ducked under it and kicked his leg. He fell down to the floor. I didn’t hit him hard enough to stop him but his friend was getting in close. I whirled around to jab the other man but he had grabbed a broken bottle, he grazed my face just enough that the guy got the jump on me. He wailed on me for a moment before I grabbed his hand and twisted it behind his body; I moved with the hand and threw him against the wall. Two. His other friend was trying to stand up but before he could get up I pulled out my gun and aimed it at him.
“Freeze!” I yelled at him. Hopefully he would listen. I would prefer not to shoot him, too much paperwork. He looked up at the gun and smiled. He started to stand up, my gun still trained on him. I was being cautious.
“You want to shoot me?” He asked modestly.
“Not really.” I stated.
“Why not?”
“Stay quiet and get on the wall.” I moved the gun over to the wall and then moved back to him.
“You killed my friends, didn’t you?”
“No, they’ll be getting up. I hope I can say the same thing for you.”
“Well.” He said before collapsing to the ground. Three?
I rushed over to his body trying to wake him. Blood began gushing from his back. The red liquid flowed on to the alleyway filling in the tiny crevices. I flipped him over to examine his back and found what seemed like a small dart precariously lodged into the lower left of his back. I pulled out the pseudo-dart and examined it with my Telitech. It appeared to be a tiny projectile, five inches in length, silver handle, and an engraving. I turned the object to observe the engraving. It looked familiar but I couldn’t quite figure it out. I looked at the engraving closer. MM. I stuck the object in my pocket and walked to the kid. She looked like she was no older than seventeen or eighteen with dark brown hair a fresh cut from her cheekbone to her jaw. I helped her to her feet.
“Are you alright? Do you need any medical attention?” She looked alright, she’ll need someone to check out the cut and to see if anything is broken but other than that she looked fine.
“My head hurts.” I glanced at her again to get an idea of what she looked like. She was wearing a Silver Condor shirt with a member’s only jacket over it; she had parachute pants on and was wearing fingerless gloves with a satchel over her shoulders.
“Ok, that’s fine. We will dispatch a medical team to take a look at you when we reach the station. If you don’t mind, we will need to question you when we reach the station,” What she was wearing finally hit me, “Just an off the record comment: I think you’re a hundred years too late for the party.”
“Thanks.” She chuckled to herself.
I glanced at her one more time before pulling up my notes. I pulled out my keypad and jotted down a couple of notes and questions. She stared silently at me while I continued writing. Finally, I began hearing the sirens blaring so I took that as my cue to take our little friend to the front of the alleyway. I looked to the girl.
“The other officers are here. Follow me.” I told her. She accepted and went with me to the front of the alleyway.
As we walked to the front of the alleyway, I turned to the girl. “What’s your name?”
“My name’s Melissa McNeil.” I nodded and jotted the name into my Telitech.
“What number can we use to get a hold of your parents?” I asked her.
“462-739-0541, someone should pick up.” I wrote the number down and quickly checked to see who it was owned by. The result came up for the Saint Joseph’s Cemetery. I looked at her in confusion.
“That’s a cemetery.” I said
“Yup.” With that I understood.
The police car pulled up to us as we stood at the edge of the alleyway. The hot red/blue lights where soothing, I closed my eyes and let myself soak it in for a brief moment. The two officers got out of the car.
“Detective Ruller.” The man emerged from behind the driver’s side door. He was about 6’1 with a large and blocky chin, his hair rippled slightly with the early morning winds. It was just my luck.
“Top of the morning to you, Hendricks.” My voice was still gravely after taking a bit of beating in the alleyway. My ribs were sore and my back was no better, I felt like shit.
“What the hell did you do this time?” Hendricks asked me. His partner started pulling himself out of the passenger seat grabbing his Case Book Tablet and pen.
“I’ve got two suspects subdued and a third was killed.”
“Killed?” Hendricks nodded towards his partner who was already furiously writing in his CBT. I heard him mutter obscenities under his breath. Hendricks eyes immediately darted towards the girl.
Hendricks hates me… passionately. It’s a long rivalry that has circulated between us for years. He goes to great lengths to prove that he is better than me in just about everything. I don’t hate the guy, I just don’t respect him and look at him for what he is, an asshole.
“Also, this girl was the victim. They were assaulting her.” I raised my hand and gestured for Melisa to come.
She walked over and stood in front of Hendricks and I. Hendricks grabbed the CBT from his partner and began jotting down a couple of notes before passing it back to the unnamed partner. The CBT only had a couple of notes jotted down from his partner and now Hendricks had etched something into the thing. They had written on the first page of the CBT, so I guessed we caught them on their off time. Officers are supposed to write any cases or information down in the tablet. Luckily I had the notepad application; it made stuff like this much simpler.
“Good. We’ve got all the information we need. See you at the station” Hendricks said gritting his teeth only slightly. Melissa probably didn’t realize the bitter hatred that the man held for me.
“Sure.” Melisa said. I pulled out my keypad one last time and opened up the notes function.
“Why were those guys kicking your ass?” I asked her. I yawned slightly wishing that I had that cup of coffee in my hand.
“Uh…Uhm.” She paused trying to gather words. I waited for another moment.
“Anything?” I asked.
“Uh.. They were drunk and just started hitting me” Odd, hopefully she can tell us more at the station.
“Alright, let’s go. Hendricks, drive me and our friend here to the big house.” I flipped around and started walking to the car.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Hendricks barked at me.
“Into the car.”
“We can’t give you a ride; we’ve got a couple cases here that we should sort through.” He gave me a snarky look, expecting me to step away from the car.
“Really? A case at two in the morning. There’s no need to lie, I know we caught you at a slow time or else you wouldn’t have come over to help little old me,” I gave him a quick smile and sat down in the back of the car. I rolled down the window. “Also, call an ambulance here so they can get our rather torpid friends out of that alleyway. And get my coffee.”
A dick move? Yes.
A worthy dick move? Absolutely.
I looked through the window and saw his face, absolutely stunned; his partners jaw was essentially on the ground. After a moment he reached for the radio on the side of his uniform, requested an ambulance, and turned around to get my coffee. Poetry in motion.

Dinner with the Devil - A Short Story



Dinner with the Devil
by M

Dinner with the Devil

Jesper Reginald leaned against his kitchen sink, a glass of scotch in one hand and a puddle of perspiration in the other. He had been out of the dating scene for quite some time so the prospect of dinner with a beautiful girl both excited him and terrified him. His thought process was that if he was at least a bit tipsy than he and his date would be able to have a bearable time. He placed the cup of Scotch on the counter and wiped his hand on his jeans. The sweat from his hand transferred onto his jeans leaving a wet smeary handprint.
He had been cooking Chicken, which really meant that he was heating up a deliciously fine meal that he had found at Publix on one of their sample cards. He had been using rosemary and olive oil and onions. He pulled the Chickens out of the pan, placed them onto his finest china, garnished them with parsley, a cream sauce that he did not make but would undoubtedly say that he did, and a dash of paprika.
Jesper checked the ornate clock that had hung just directly above his fireplace and saw that it was seven forty-five, his date was late yet it didn’t bother him. He had never met Lucia but from pictures that he’s seen she was truly stunning, a force of nature. Jesper walked over to his music rack by the stereo, after sorting through his wide array of music he eventually decided on “You Make My Dreams” by Hall & Oates, he hoped it would be appropriate. He turned on his faux fireplace and let the pixelated embers dance across the screen.
Five minutes went by, No date.
Thirty minutes went by, Jesper fixed himself another Scotch.
An Hour went by as well as three more glasses of Scotch.
Two hours went by, Jesper began to doze off.
Two hours and thirteen minutes late and Jesper had been asleep sprawled across his couch.
At the two hour and fifteen minute mark I knocked on the door.

Jesper awoke from his slumber and came plodding to the door. The time that he had been alone had sufficiently killed his excited demeanor. He placed his empty glass on a nearby table, quickly examined and refitted his hair, and then reached within himself to pull out a smile suitable for the occasion. With his suitable smile and spiffy attitude he reached forward and opened the door.
As I saw through my eyes, which saw through his eyes, he quickly sighed with an equal amount of relief and disappointment as he saw a man in his archway. This man, who was still in fact me, was tall and handsome. The man was absolutely ordinary in every way shape and form, nothing could discern him from your average Joe. Even you wouldn't have been able to find any discernible difference between me and the man that stood in front of you when you were buying your coffee this morning.
Jesper stooped his shoulders and first pondered then asked the question that I had simultaneously been answering in my head.
“Who are you?”
“A fine question indeed. My name is Luther, most people call me Lucas but you can call me Luther.” Perplexingly bizarre. Those were the words going through his head… Not exactly those words but close enough to illustrate the point, he was confused. 
“Okay, Luther,” Oh! Sharpness to his tone! “How can I help you?”
“Well, you may not know this but I am in fact the brother to a fine young woman who goes by the name of Lucia. I believe you were supposed to wine and dine with her this evening?”
“Yes?” Oh my. It seems the boy is confused.
“Well, she asked me to come her in her place. She feels terribly sorry for the inconvenience but she feels that I could be a proxy of sorts.”
“Oh…”
“Well, aren't you going to invite me inside? I hope you know that I'm taking thorough mental notes which will be relayed back to her.”
“I don't think so. I think I'll just turn in. Why don't you let Lucia know that I'd love to reschedule.”
Jesper began to close the door shut but with expert precision I slid my leg in between the door and the frame, similar to a toothpick being vertically inserted into someone’s mouth.
“I truly believe that you are making a regrettable decision. I mean why you would let such beautiful chicken go to waste is beyond me.”
“You know what, you’re persistent I’ll give you that. Whatever. Go ahead come on in.” three… two… one… “I never told Lucia I made chicken. How did you know?”
“Well, the mirror.”
“What mirror?”
“That one right there.” I pointed at something behind him. He looked and saw a small mirror that was in fact not there when he turned around and would not be there when he turned back. Sadly, this pathetic man did not, in fact, own a mirror.
He swung the door open and led me towards the dining room. He walked me past the area with no mirror without even flinching since he was too busy discussing horrifically boring nonsense that I blankly nodded and approved of. He could have been talking on how he is a preacher who donates blood on the weekend and I would've congratulated him, disgusting. I was very excited to drink the thirty year old Johnny Walker that he had stored up in the upper right corner of his liquor cabinet behind the fifteen dollar bottle of white wine.
He led me to the table where I took a seat in front of a delicious looking meal.
“Want a drink. I sure as hell could use one.”
“What a heavenly idea. How about some of that Johnny Walker you've got in your bar?”
“How do you…”
“Doesn't everybody have a bottle of Walker in their bar.”
“You wouldn’t be wrong. Let me pour you a glass.” He chuckled softly to himself and strolled over to his liquor cabinet.
He believes everything he hears, like a sheep. Funny, there are a lot of things in this world that you can compare to…
“Here's your Scotch.” Jesper held out a glass of Scotch.
“Remarkable. Please, sit. You've been a fantastic host so far. I will most assuredly let Lucia know of this.” I shook my head and winked at him.
“Thanks. I appreciate you putting a good word in. Actually, I'd love to know more about her.” Jesper sat down and pulled the chair closer to the table allowing himself to more comfortably place his elbows.
“No, please. We are more interested in you. Tell me about yourself.”  He leaned back, honestly his posture was disgusting, and he proceeded to speak of himself and his wholly uninteresting life, measly existence, and a simple dream of grandeur. Needless to say, it's a story I've heard a million times. And then he spoke of his faith.
“Well, I'm also quite proud to be bred a Christian. I've actually heard that Lucia is quite active with the Church.”
“Absolutely, our entire family has close ties to the Church.”
“Really? That's great to hear. Which church does your family attend?”
I sighed softly. A sigh filled with sorrow that Jesper noticed.
“What's wrong?”
“I'm sorry to say that I've lied to you, Jesper.”
He coughed.
“So, you aren't Lucia’s sister?”
“No, of course not but that's not what I lied about.”
“Uh… I think you need to go.”
“No, I think not. I'm not even done speaking. Now, as I was saying. I've lied to the human race, to people like you.”
“How?” There was fear in his voice. He was also reaching into his pocket to dial the police. It's disgusting what technology has done to us. I instead reached into my pocket and pulled out his cell phone, waving it in the air.
“Jasper, I was just in the middle of a conversation and you instead decide that this is the time to make a phone call? Shame on you.”
“What!” He jolted out of his chair and ran for another room. Through my own ways, the doorway which he entered led directly back into the dining room. He continued this ridiculous process until he grew tired.
“Now sit down and listen to me.” Jesper, seeing no other alternative, came, sat down, and listened to what I had to say.
“What did you lie about?” Jesper said it in the most depressed cadence. Yet, at this moment he would be reaching a new level of enlightenment.
“Now, believe for one brief moment that I was the devil. What is the greatest trick I've ever pulled?”
“Making the world believe that you didn’t exist.”
“No, Keyser. I still believe that the greatest trick I've ever pull was making the world believe that there was an alternative.”
“What?”
“Many believe that if they do good deeds in life then they will be rewarded with a sweet, sweet one way ticket to the pearly gates. Now, what if I told you there were no pearly gates, no incentive after death just eternal fire and relentless damnation. Now, that doesn't sound too exciting but it’s what I created. Easily, the most devilish thing I’ve ever done was creating religion that was so minutely similar as well as so vastly different. Each religion with my own little macabre purpose built in. Do you get what I’m talking about?
He chose his next word carefully. He spoke past the blubbering pleas and the snot rolling down his nose. “No.”
“I wasn’t speaking to you.”
I was speaking to you. Do you understand what I am talking about? The amount of people that have been slaughtered under the name of false gods is staggering and never… once… has a war been fought over me. People still believe that day is coming; well they’ll be waiting a long damn time. No one cares to admit it; no one wants to see the truth. I am God.
“Please, let me go.” Tears were rolling down his face.
“Shut the fuck up.” I snapped. “Listen here… What was I talking about?”
“I… uh… I’m sorry I don’t remember. I’ve got a really terrible memory.”
I paused. “You know who has the worst memory? The Universe. You people don’t care to admit that you will be swept away into the relentless sea of time. No one will remember you! Doesn’t that sound… freeing? Everyone that you love and care about will be immediately forgotten, left to rot in my backyard. No one cares about the man who died in 1417, 1717, and 2017. At the end of the day I want you to understand… you are irrelevant, born to die, to die, and to live, in hell.”
Tears still rolled down Jesper’s face. “Why me?” he never stopped asking.
“Because, I will have told you this but who will believe you when you tell them. In one brief moment I have broken your entire measly existence, shattered the façade that I created into a million pieces.”
“Why?”
“Because I can.”
           
And like that… I was gone.

            And like that… He was gone.

            And like that… You were gone.

            And like that… The cycle repeated.