Dinner
with the Devil
by M
Dinner
with the Devil
Jesper Reginald leaned against
his kitchen sink, a glass of scotch in one hand and a puddle of perspiration in
the other. He had been out of the dating scene for quite some time so the
prospect of dinner with a beautiful girl both excited him and terrified him.
His thought process was that if he was at least a bit tipsy than he and his
date would be able to have a bearable time. He placed the cup of Scotch on the
counter and wiped his hand on his jeans. The sweat from his hand transferred
onto his jeans leaving a wet smeary handprint.
He had been cooking Chicken,
which really meant that he was heating up a deliciously fine meal that he had
found at Publix on one of their sample cards. He had been using rosemary and
olive oil and onions. He pulled the Chickens out of the pan, placed them onto
his finest china, garnished them with parsley, a cream sauce that he did not
make but would undoubtedly say that he did, and a dash of paprika.
Jesper checked the ornate clock
that had hung just directly above his fireplace and saw that it was seven
forty-five, his date was late yet it didn’t bother him. He had never met Lucia
but from pictures that he’s seen she was truly stunning, a force of nature. Jesper
walked over to his music rack by the stereo, after sorting through his wide
array of music he eventually decided on “You Make My Dreams” by Hall &
Oates, he hoped it would be appropriate. He turned on his faux fireplace and
let the pixelated embers dance across the screen.
Five minutes went by, No date.
Thirty minutes went by, Jesper
fixed himself another Scotch.
An Hour went by as well as three
more glasses of Scotch.
Two hours went by, Jesper began
to doze off.
Two hours and thirteen minutes
late and Jesper had been asleep sprawled across his couch.
At the two hour and fifteen
minute mark I knocked on the door.
Jesper awoke from his slumber and
came plodding to the door. The time that he had been alone had sufficiently
killed his excited demeanor. He placed his empty glass on a nearby table,
quickly examined and refitted his hair, and then reached within himself to pull
out a smile suitable for the occasion. With his suitable smile and spiffy
attitude he reached forward and opened the door.
As I saw through my eyes, which
saw through his eyes, he quickly sighed with an equal amount of relief and
disappointment as he saw a man in his archway. This man, who was still in fact
me, was tall and handsome. The man was absolutely ordinary in every way shape
and form, nothing could discern him from your average Joe. Even you wouldn't
have been able to find any discernible difference between me and the man that
stood in front of you when you were buying your coffee this morning.
Jesper stooped his shoulders and first
pondered then asked the question that I had simultaneously been answering in my
head.
“Who are you?”
“A fine question indeed. My name
is Luther, most people call me Lucas but you can call me Luther.” Perplexingly
bizarre. Those were the words going through his head… Not exactly those words
but close enough to illustrate the point, he was confused.
“Okay, Luther,” Oh! Sharpness to
his tone! “How can I help you?”
“Well, you may not know this but
I am in fact the brother to a fine young woman who goes by the name of Lucia. I
believe you were supposed to wine and dine with her this evening?”
“Yes?” Oh my. It seems the boy is
confused.
“Well, she asked me to come her
in her place. She feels terribly sorry for the inconvenience but she feels that
I could be a proxy of sorts.”
“Oh…”
“Well, aren't you going to invite
me inside? I hope you know that I'm taking thorough mental notes which will be
relayed back to her.”
“I don't think so. I think I'll
just turn in. Why don't you let Lucia know that I'd love to reschedule.”
Jesper began to close the door
shut but with expert precision I slid my leg in between the door and the frame,
similar to a toothpick being vertically inserted into someone’s mouth.
“I truly believe that you are
making a regrettable decision. I mean why you would let such beautiful chicken
go to waste is beyond me.”
“You know what, you’re persistent
I’ll give you that. Whatever. Go ahead come on in.” three… two… one… “I never
told Lucia I made chicken. How did you know?”
“Well, the mirror.”
“What mirror?”
“That one right there.” I pointed
at something behind him. He looked and saw a small mirror that was in fact not
there when he turned around and would not be there when he turned back. Sadly,
this pathetic man did not, in fact, own a mirror.
He swung the door open and led me
towards the dining room. He walked me past the area with no mirror without even
flinching since he was too busy discussing horrifically boring nonsense that I
blankly nodded and approved of. He could have been talking on how he is a
preacher who donates blood on the weekend and I would've congratulated him,
disgusting. I was very excited to drink the thirty year old Johnny Walker that
he had stored up in the upper right corner of his liquor cabinet behind the fifteen
dollar bottle of white wine.
He led me to the table where I
took a seat in front of a delicious looking meal.
“Want a drink. I sure as hell
could use one.”
“What a heavenly idea. How about
some of that Johnny Walker you've got in your bar?”
“How do you…”
“Doesn't everybody have a bottle
of Walker in their bar.”
“You wouldn’t be wrong. Let me
pour you a glass.” He chuckled softly to himself and strolled over to his liquor
cabinet.
He believes everything he hears,
like a sheep. Funny, there are a lot of things in this world that you can
compare to…
“Here's your Scotch.” Jesper held
out a glass of Scotch.
“Remarkable. Please, sit. You've
been a fantastic host so far. I will most assuredly let Lucia know of this.” I
shook my head and winked at him.
“Thanks. I appreciate you putting
a good word in. Actually, I'd love to know more about her.” Jesper sat down and
pulled the chair closer to the table allowing himself to more comfortably place
his elbows.
“No, please. We are more
interested in you. Tell me about yourself.” He leaned back, honestly his posture was
disgusting, and he proceeded to speak of himself and his wholly uninteresting
life, measly existence, and a simple dream of grandeur. Needless to say, it's a
story I've heard a million times. And then he spoke of his faith.
“Well, I'm also quite proud to be
bred a Christian. I've actually heard that Lucia is quite active with the
Church.”
“Absolutely, our entire family
has close ties to the Church.”
“Really? That's great to hear.
Which church does your family attend?”
I sighed softly. A sigh filled
with sorrow that Jesper noticed.
“What's wrong?”
“I'm sorry to say that I've lied to
you, Jesper.”
He coughed.
“So, you aren't Lucia’s sister?”
“No, of course not but that's not
what I lied about.”
“Uh… I think you need to go.”
“No, I think not. I'm not even
done speaking. Now, as I was saying. I've lied to the human race, to people
like you.”
“How?” There was fear in his
voice. He was also reaching into his pocket to dial the police. It's disgusting
what technology has done to us. I instead reached into my pocket and pulled out
his cell phone, waving it in the air.
“Jasper, I was just in the middle
of a conversation and you instead decide that this is the time to make a phone
call? Shame on you.”
“What!” He jolted out of his
chair and ran for another room. Through my own ways, the doorway which he
entered led directly back into the dining room. He continued this ridiculous
process until he grew tired.
“Now sit down and listen to me.”
Jesper, seeing no other alternative, came, sat down, and listened to what I had
to say.
“What did you lie about?” Jesper
said it in the most depressed cadence. Yet, at this moment he would be reaching
a new level of enlightenment.
“Now, believe for one brief
moment that I was the devil. What is the greatest trick I've ever pulled?”
“Making the world believe that
you didn’t exist.”
“No, Keyser. I still believe that
the greatest trick I've ever pull was making the world believe that there was
an alternative.”
“What?”
“Many believe that if they do
good deeds in life then they will be rewarded with a sweet, sweet one way
ticket to the pearly gates. Now, what if I told you there were no pearly gates,
no incentive after death just eternal fire and relentless damnation. Now, that
doesn't sound too exciting but it’s what I created. Easily, the most devilish
thing I’ve ever done was creating religion that was so minutely similar as well
as so vastly different. Each religion with my own little macabre purpose built
in. Do you get what I’m talking about?
He chose his next word carefully.
He spoke past the blubbering pleas and the snot rolling down his nose. “No.”
“I wasn’t speaking to you.”
I was speaking to you. Do you
understand what I am talking about? The amount of people that have been
slaughtered under the name of false gods is staggering and never… once… has a
war been fought over me. People still believe that day is coming; well they’ll
be waiting a long damn time. No one cares to admit it; no one wants to see the
truth. I am God.
“Please, let me go.” Tears were
rolling down his face.
“Shut the fuck up.” I snapped.
“Listen here… What was I talking about?”
“I… uh… I’m sorry I don’t
remember. I’ve got a really terrible memory.”
I paused. “You know who has the
worst memory? The Universe. You people don’t care to admit that you will be
swept away into the relentless sea of time. No one will remember you! Doesn’t
that sound… freeing? Everyone that you love and care about will be immediately
forgotten, left to rot in my backyard. No one cares about the man who died in
1417, 1717, and 2017. At the end of the day I want you to understand… you are
irrelevant, born to die, to die, and to live, in hell.”
Tears still rolled down Jesper’s
face. “Why me?” he never stopped asking.
“Because, I will have told you
this but who will believe you when you tell them. In one brief moment I have
broken your entire measly existence, shattered the façade that I created into a
million pieces.”
“Why?”
“Because I can.”
And like that… I was gone.
And like that… He was gone.
And like that… You were gone.
And like that… The cycle repeated.
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